


Tell Me What We Are

by CoffeeAndArrows



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Ava Sharpe needs a hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode 3x16, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Sara Lance Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 16:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeAndArrows/pseuds/CoffeeAndArrows
Summary: Sara wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around Ava and tell her that it would be okay, to make sure the other woman new how much she loved her - and would always love her, no matter what happened. Because she was so pure and loving andgood, and it broke Sara's heart that she couldn't see that in herself.She desperately wanted to remind her how much she meant, how important she was.But she had no right. She'd lost that the moment she pushed her away.(alternate end to 3x16 - 'I, Ava' )





	Tell Me What We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Another alternate ending to 'I, Ava' because I just love these two so much and need them to be happy.
> 
> And apparently my otp is Sara Lance/Emotions, so prepare yourself :)

 

_ 'How do I even know that I'm real?' _

Ava slouched the chair, her head in her hands, looking so damn broken that Sara's heart tore in two.  She tried to remember the words the other woman had uttered earlier, the moment her world had shattered .

_ 'My life, my memories, they're all manufactured.' _

__

_ 'I'm not even real' _

Sara cast her eyes away from her girlfriend - _not your girlfriend_  - trying to give her some space. Her whole world had just been uprooted, and Sara had no idea if she could even help.

God, when she next saw Rip she was going to kill him.

The worst part was that she had no idea what to do.  It wasn't the first time she'd pushed people in her life away, but this might be the first time it had come back so  vividly to haunt her .  Sara wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around Ava and tell her that it would be okay, to make sure the other woman new how much she loved her - and would always love her, no matter what happened .

She didn't care if Ava was a clone, or anything else for that matter, because she was so pure and loving and /good/, and it broke Sara's heart that she couldn't see that .

She  just wanted to remind her how much she meant, how important she was.

But she had no right. She'd lost that the moment she forced Ava to leave.

Instead, Sara walked away from her and began to pour them both a drink. 

Ava had - albeit  accidentally \- bared her heart to her, shown her her darkest secrets, things that even she didn't know about herself, yet Sara was still pushing her away .

__

_ You're a monster. _

Sara swiped at her eyes, hoping that Ava hadn't noticed, then immediately feeling furious with herself . Of course she hadn't noticed.  She  was focused on bigger things, more important things than Sara, she didn't have time to focus on her ex-girlfriend having a meltdown .

Thankfully . Because she would  undoubtedly get the wrong idea, and think Sara was crying about her.

Not that that'd be wrong.

But Ava would think she was crying because she hated her, which couldn't be less true.

' _You're as real as_ _ I feel about you.' _

Sara swore at herself  internally . On one hand, telling Ava how she felt had gotten them out of that situation. And it seemed to reassure her at the time.  But it made it so much harder to push her away, so much harder to ignore the vulnerable look in Ava's eyes, like she  desperately needed something - someone - to cling to . 

It was a feeling Sara knew well, and her heart ached for the other woman, and for the affection she couldn't give her.

For Ava's safety.

Fuck.

She couldn't  just leave her alone, not when she looked so, so lost.

'You alright?' she asked in an  overly casual voice, carrying the drinks over and handing one to Ava. All it took was for Ava to look up at her, and Sara's resolve crumbled, reaching down to wrap the other woman in her arms.  She perched on the edge of the chair and began to murmur reassurances, pulling her hair out of a bun and running her fingers through it like Ava had done for her a thousand times . 'It's okay. You're okay.'

She could feel Ava's hot tears soaking into her shirt, and pulled her closer, trying to make sure she knew she was important . 

'How - ' Ava choked on her words, raising her head to look Sara in the eyes. Even with red eyes and tears running down her cheeks she was breathtaking. Voice  barely there, she repeated her question from earlier 'How do I even know I'm real?'

Sara brushed her thumbs across Ava's cheeks, cupping her face with her hands. 

There was a line, but she'd already crossed it. 

' _You'll hurt her,'_ a voice whispered in her head. Sara forced it back where it belonged, deciding there and then that she wasn't going to leave Ava to suffer alone. 

It was true; if she stayed, she might hurt her.

But if she left now, Ava would _definitely_ get hurt.

Now was not the time for this debate.

Sara forced herself to focus  solely on Ava, who was scanning her face for any signs of hatred or disgust. 'Aves,' she murmured, brushing yet more tears away, 'how could I not? I said it earlier, and I'll keep saying it until it gets through to you. You are the most extraordinary person I've ever met, and I - '

She cut herself off and took a deep breath, egged on by the alcohol, 'I care about you so much Ava, and nothing I ever learn about you will ever change that .'

Ava reached up and pulled Sara's hands away from her face, pressing a kiss to her knuckles then letting her hands drop in favour of rubbing the tears off her face . Sara mirrored her, scrubbing her hands across her eyes.

_Fuck._

She was in way too deep.

As soon as she'd thought it, Ava seemed to realise what had occurred, and swore to herself. 'I'm sorry, Sara, I shouldn't've - I won't - '

Sara cut her off before she could continue, taking a deep breath. 'Ava, please don't. Don't apologise.' She took a few more shaky breaths, her hands shaking, before her words came tumbling out in a rush.  'I fucked up when I broke up with you; I listened to the demons in my mind instead of trusting myself, and that's something I need to work with before I'm gonna be ready to do this .  But I - I  really messed up, and I shouldn't have pushed you away, and we need to have a long conversation about this, if you still want me .'

Her voice broke a little at the end, and it was clear that Ava had noticed, as she immediately reached out to grab Sara's hands . 'Of course I still want you, Sara. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.'

She sounded so sincere, and it took everything in Sara's power not to blurt out the rest of her feelings right then and there -  thankfully , Ava interrupted before she could, her voice small and hesitant as she asked if she could stay .

Sara smiled  softly at her, brushing a few locks of hair away from her face. 'Of course,' she murmured squeezing the other woman's hand. There would be time to talk tomorrow; Ava deserved for her to confide in her instead of pushing her away. Which would be difficult.

But worth it.

She knew she  was supposed to be doing the comforting in this situation, but needed to make sure she was clear. 'Ava?' she whispered, closing her eyes so she didn't have to say this to her face. When she heard the other woman acknowledge her, she bit her lip. It took a while to get the words out, fighting against the whispers in the back of her mind, but Ava waited  patiently for them and didn't comment on how broken they sounded. 'If - when we do talk about this - about us - If I - ' she cut herself off, breathing  harshly , voice trembling, and them continued sounding even more desperate, 'If I try to make you go, please don't let me. Don't leave.'

Her eyes met Ava's, pleading with her to understand.

_I'm not sure I'll be this brave in the morning._

Ava nodded carefully and leaned down to kiss the top of her head, her meaning clear.

_ I'm not going anywhere. _

Neither was she.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me on twitter @Cffe_and_Arrows
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day!


End file.
